But I bet you never looked at Paula Deen and thought “Damn; I can see her front privates.”

Paula. What? I have discovered leggings as pants a few days a week, and I like to make sure a shirt/tunic covers my ass, but I don’t know man. It’s just an odd thing to say in an interview, front privates. It makes me cringe from my vagina outward.

her vagina is probably hitting her knees

Hm funny she says that because I usually like to take my new ugly ass tunics to the tailor and have them cut giant holes in front of my pussy. For the air.

Perfect for lounging about the estate while the middle-aged blacks pick the cotton in their beautiful white coats and black bow ties, really.

Dallas is a shithole, but Houston is objectively worse. It's basically Dallas, but with Florida's humidity and even worse drivers.

Thanks. Hopefully my landlord will let me apply it towards this month’s rent.

Ugh the poor would stop being poor if they would just quit worrying so much about money and instead spent their time reflecting on life and improving themselves. DUH.

“The only true wealth is when you don’t think about wealth.”

Ummm Guillermo? True wealth is being rich enough to spout Zen koan sounding bullshit

ugly-ass pants that need to die in a river of hellfire and never, ever come back again to make us think they’re flattering.

Celeste Barber does it again!

I refuse to let anyone else in my house load the dishwasher because I only feel seething resentment when they do it wrong. What kills me that Mr. Eyebrows used to be decent at stacking the dishwasher and now it’s like watching a newborn horse learn to walk...every.single.fucking.time.

Stop Tyler the creator, stopppp.

Are there sexist white men who call themselves progressive? Of course. Are white progressive men generally just as sexist as conservative men (of all races), who support severely restricting if not banning abortion, defunding planned parenthood, restricting access to contraception, stigmatizing transgender people,…

I took slut pills to treat my PCOS. Then I had the gastric bypass. Now I take my slut pills so I can slut it up.

After reading All The Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister I think she provides a pretty good argument for why this is an issue. It’s an issue for them because something like the pill changes the fabric of society too much for their liking because women aren’t dependent on men when they can’t get pregnant at any time or…

Take a guess.

Compromise?! WTF?! How can a willfully ignorant group of men who choose to not understand how insurance and birth control work be both legal and moral arbiters?

This is how I picture the SCOTUS men asking questions on contraception: