Weddings in Eastenders always end in disaster, so the writers can only ration themselves to about three a year.

And characters with the same name. My fairly small circle of school friends included about six Matts. I appreciate this might make things hard to follow, but hey, reality!

Replace FDR with Obama, and wheelchair with skateboard, and your wish might be granted.

Ah, I vividly remember the truly epic floor-thumping tantrum I subjected
my mother to when she had the temerity to return from the video shop
with Annie rather than the Return of the Jedi.

Just don't try the Dangleberries.

After Birth more like…

The photo makes it look like Heroes was made circa 1995.

I'm all for them rebooting Heroes, if they change the entire creative team and cast and pretend the first iteration never ever happened. Same applies to Flash Forward, Revolution, and that one where they go back in time and live with the dinosaurs (can't even be bothered to look it up). All entertaining ideas…

That's what you get for 'Playing with the [Big] Boys!'

In which case, never go to Gothenberg.

*flips bird while flying upside down*

I was relying on my atheist father to pass on that sage bit of info to my children. But then he died, three years ago. I'd like to think he's looking down on them now, but that would suggest he got everything massively wrong, in which case it's more likely that he's looking up at them. Or, as is most likely, he's just…

Thanks BonerTime, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. All the better that you're called BonerTime.

Yep. Some sort of state funeral would be entirely merited. I mean, if Thatcher can get one…

One of the Coen brothers.

Fair enough. I'll agree that the quality was variable. At least you caught some of the good ones, which were largely clustered around seasons two and three.

Have to disagree with you there Girard. While Fringe did admittedly fire off a few dud episodes, at its best it produced some of the most fantastic TV I've ever seen. 'Peter' and 'White Tulip' blew me away and I would certainly rank them among the very best episodes of TV that I've ever had the pleasure to watch…

Was secretly hoping that my script 'U-Bend if you want to, Mr McPloppy-Poop isn't for bending,' was going to finally make it. I can only assume it's on the Even Blacker List of scripts that just missed out on the Black List.

Is that a recent photo of Al Yankovic? In which case he must have another painting locked away in his attic. He must be about 60 by now.

The similarities to my ongoing feud with my brother are uncanny. We also fell out over who had control of the TV remote. We rarely ever see each other, except for last week, when we saw Catching Fire together. He's unemployed and I'm 'freelance' so the career rivalry is equally intense. I sincerely hope we sort it out…