Someone needs to throw a pitch at his head.

What are you talking about? He’s not dead.

You’re yellow!

This is more awkward than Chris Klein’s speech in Election. Damn.

The greatest trick Brandon Chicken ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

Of course this differs greatly from Kobe’s Lakers, where no one scored on a passed ball.

It's because he's Blake, isn't it?

The Pontiac Aztek was a better GM than Doc Rivers.

Nick Bodell

Madison Bumgarner should try to remember that a little chill never hurt anyone.

Obvious profiling. Single male, black, no kids. Must be up to something.

Cory Simms

This guy is nuts. How would dragging a disembodied head across the ice make it clean?

Brian Windhorst-Lena Dunham

It's funny when Pierce answers questions this way, but nobody will be laughing when Aaron Hernandez does his rendition.

As a lifelong Seahawk fan, it's always fun to see Manning looking like he just walked in on his wife being double teamed by Rosie O'Donnell and Richard Simmons. I can't wait to have a game day free of Manning singing into a chicken parmesan sandwich, and then the horrifying sound of him consuming it over a sink.

How tall is the kid you adopted?

'How can I make money off of a basketball player?'

Abusers and bullies and harassers and just straight up bastards that no one can stand.