If he wins he should invite Wawrinka to join him in the post-match interview and then when the interview starts tell Stan to get lost like the loser he is.

I can’t imagine most teams have their kicker even needing to attempt a tackle more than once or twice a year. It’s like worrying about your holder’s passing skill on the off chance they fumble the snap.

Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

Thomas Pynchon looked at that name and said “eh, too far.”

I’m not typically one to cast aspersions on people I don’t know, but if Dan Dakich’s family member is dealing with chronic work-related injuries, has earned $100 million in the last seven years, and has a degree in architectural design from Stanford, then he’s an idiot for continuing to show up every day at the steel…

The Major sport that’s hardest on your body, is far and away the worst for your brain (and long term risks), but pays far and away the least and guarantees nothing in contracts (and has a history of fucking over it’s retirees) is having a problem with players walking away from the game.

Is there any other sport like American football where the fans and pundits feel like the players owe them something? And said fans/pundit industry feel they have a divine right to dictate behavioral standards to the players?

If there was a young man in literally any other profession who made $100 million before he was 30 and decided to retire, he would be lauded. The Wall Street Journal would write thousands of words of wankery praising his acumen and smarts and god bless America.

Unfortunately, research is showing us that Football is detrimental to your health even before you make a single dime. Like, High School early:

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

Andrew Luck’s retirement will only increase the primal urgency of Football Men to find True Football Believers to play football, so that they don’t ever question their faith in it.

Did somebody say, “Rally idiot”?

...Sir, this a Wendy’s.

HE HATE TEAMS

Finally, the league from Any Given Sunday is here for real! 

Please, for the love of god, tell me you told him that the only way is if he gets a monitor that rotates.

If you’re ever in doubt that he’s a shitheel, just remember, Goose Gossage beaned his own kid. From SI, 9/12/1994:

So, this person is claiming to be a frequent motorcyclist...and that is what she wears to go out for a ride? Nope.

How lucky her motorcycle crashed during the golden hour.