Thanks Chevy

Deadspin today:

Just before the final out, my 95 year old grampa, veteran of two wars, cancer survivor, and long-suffering cubs fan, pulled me aside and, with a tear forming in his steel grey eyes, said, “The blacks ruined this neighborhood and your sister dresses like a whore.” This was for him.

Global Entry is where it is at. It includes TSA Pre-Check and when you come back to the US from abroad you just breeze through the machine, while the rest stand in line like it’s Ellis Island.

In the inevitable Ray Romano guest spot, in addition to the bread sticks they will also be Waiting to Watch the Game. (That-is-if-their-wives-will-let-them-am-i-rite-fellas?)

I prefer my theory in which the whole of Kevin Can Wait is a parodical daydream of Dr. Spratt from Children’s Hospital in which she imagines herself in a far less funny show.

I fucking love how much she says fuck. Also, much appreciate her saying us childless women are brave. I get so many annoying comments about my lack of children...why don’t you have kids? When are you going to have kids? Don’t you want kids? What, you don’t have kids? Oh, you’ll change your mind, kids are the most…

Real bravery is stealing someone else’s children.

Wylliebensraum

I do not believe for one millisecond that people have stopped watching football because of the protests.

But seriously - if you have an opportunity to insult a decorated war veteran you have to take it, right?

First they came for the sheriffs.

I’m not anti-Semitic either, but I’m starting to get pretty pissed that my wife won’t tell me where she’s hiding her gold.

I feel like you don’t get that this is real. It’s not rare or unexpected in many schools. Kids are dumb (regardless of socio-economic background). I have seen what happened here more times than I have fingers...

Do people ever just walk away from you when you’re speaking? I’m talking mid-sentence.

“The first duty of every Presidential candidate is to the truth, whether it’s scientific truth, or historical truth, or personal truth! It is the guiding principle on which the United States is based, and if you can’t find it within yourself to stand up and tell the truth about what happened, you don’t deserve to be…

-Hillary

As long as she retorts with the speech that Picard made at the of the episode -which ranks for me as one of the greatest episodes ever of Trek-

The Drumhead would be a most fitting episode for this election cycle

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”