Why did Varenyky have to rape Holubtsi’s pet bird?

Make America Dense Again

SOCKGHAZI

1. Demand for money

This entire thing is great, but in particular I loved:

This picture always reminds that I REALLY want to see Bryan Cranston do a Sherman biopic

I heard that his employer gave him a chance to move over to beteween-periods NHL coverage, but he had to turn it down ...

Because ESPN never gave him a Zamboni instructional!

Also probably the only pop song to extol the joys of being pegged: “She walked in through the out door”

Love that shambolic drunken cover by Zevon & 3/4 of REM.

“We’ll start with a broad list”

Grub Fan Bids Belt Adieu

Menschsplaining

(Yes, yes, I know, Kasich is most certainly *not* a mensch in the praiseworthy sense.)

American Talibench

Hey, at least he didn’t name his kid Lyndon.

“We were in deep, man,” says Blaine Boyer without the slightest touch of irony.

What? No Mulatto Trump?

Did you interview Adnan Khashoggi?

My comment is revenue-neutral!

I think you mean suturing