"He pulls a knife, you pull an enema. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the septic tank! That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Truffleberry!"

Power word: pun is a horrifying spell.

Doctor Oz: I'm sorry Uncle Sam, but you've got a severe case of necrotizing fascistiitis on your wang. Sadly, there is no cure for Staphylococcus Trumpeus other than a complete amputation.

Wait, the giant dome will keep us from the Trump supporters? Well now it doesn't sound so bad.

…Until the Trump sons gleefully shoot it.

They should all go out for drinks together after work, say Trump's DC hotel bar, for multiple rounds of tiger blood shots.

It's true. El Guapo has a plethora of infamy.

{adds "Soupçon Nazi" to list of possible band names and Disqus aliases}

Man, fuck folk hero Johnny Dickbagseed.

Yeah, it's too bad Jong II was never tried for that incident or then ordering the local television station to broadcast the Semaphore Version of Wuthering Heights.

That can be the DC cinematic universe's thing. Instead of a Stan Lee cameo, Jimmy Olsen dies a horrific but meaningless death.

He just needs a moonshine-powered sidekick or superpet.

So, how much paperwork is involved in getting a visa or greencard to your universe?

If it's 90 minutes of CraigyFerg's Aquaman, I'll watch it.

A drunken time-traveling would-be assassin arrived a couple years too early and got Taylor by mistake instead of Trump.

I still don't know how you pull off commenting with a 300 baud modem and Commodore Basic. It's damn heroic.

I don't know why Trump doesn't just hire the makeup folks who did Tom Cruise's grotesquely huge hands in Tropic Thunder.

{angrily shakes fist at Pat Buchanan}

That's probably a hell of a testicle necklace she's making.

President Carter had a very difficult time doing PotUS stuff while constantly needing to avoid Donnie Darko's Frank.