He's like Eddie Murphy in The Klumps. Cameron also plays the banana.

He deserved it. Timmy knows what he did.

Nah, Lucifer is still too busy exclusively hocking the Prosperity Gospel and Mo' Money, Mo' Mammon.

This sounds like a Chris Christie stress-nightmare, never knowing whose ass to lovingly smooch.

That should be the theme of this years White House Correspondents’ Dinner: "Night of a Hundred Trumps." Let every comedian and impressionist have a shot on stage to humorously skewer PotUS45. Decorate the place like the tackiest, excessive, self-important television special from 1980s network TV.

Impressionception BWAAAAP

♫♪ "Many miles away something crawls to the surface
Of a dark Scottish sexist Koch" ♫♪

I think your last sentence pretty much explains the problems you bring up in your first three sentences.

Current Earth technology cannot make a paper towel awesome enough for Samus Aran to endorse.

Wait… how do we know that is actually pudding on your head?

The death of Root in Person of Interest still stings too.

So do the Attacking Martians. They talk about her non-stop.

If you were a girl Dikachu, Trump would pay you to give it a #2.

I'm still expecting Trump to 3AM tweet that Schwarzenegger didn't quit, and Trump personally fired him.

Nah. I'd rather they forget Leto and Hedlund for the sequel, just center it entirely on Olivia Wilde. Bring back Cillian Murphy if he wants in.

That adds a fresh layer of innuendo to Neil Diamond's "Heartlight."

Nope. This is a make-up test for Swinton to get used to playing an old racist white dude full time. When AG Sessions runs into a polonium umbrella next week, SwintonSessions will be able to take over wearing his face.

Congrats, you are now Trump's new Administer of NASA.

Second Audio Program (Snark)?

Yasss, Hellcat!