Sekrit Muslin ter'rist Prius-wheelchair Obama will wait till he's old, then travel back in time to prevent Eli Whitney from inventing interchangeable parts for firearms!

He's gonna take your guns! Any second now.

Is Christie allowed to get takeout when he's away from Trump, or is he still on a meatloaf-only diet for the foreseeable future?

You two are going to raise the cranky ghost of Stannis "Grammar" Baratheon with all this farther vs further talk.

When you're sitting peacefully in your stall, and you glance up to notice PotUS45 is watching you intently from a hole in the drop ceiling, the surprise/horror tends to ruin your aim.

I'm not sure they are self-reflective enough for the idea of their identity to even occur to them.

McConnell takes for granted that not everyone can just retreat into their own personal turtle shell.

Judge Ginsburg killed the fuck out of our local street gang, then sentenced their corpses to isocubes for littering and loitering.

Tantric explanations can go on for days.

Dick Cheney lived without a heart for fifteen months, and he continues ever on. Maybe he put Cosby in touch with his phylactery dealer?

Hey! That was Redd Foxx. Not all older comedian folk look like!

Don't Trust the B—— in Generic Romantic Comedy #57B

{Trump angrily 3AM tweets Tommy Westphall's address.}

Ajit "Mountain Man" Pai: What's the matter, modem? I bet you can squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig. Let's squeal. Squeal now. Squeal.

Every time I watched a scene with Walter Frey, part of me kept thinking of him as Arthur Webley from Hot Fuzz.

Yarp.

This is not the weirdest bit of Transformers lore I've heard this month.

I would watch the heck out of Get A Fucking Life with McShane and Chris Elliot.

Guns N' Republicans: Russian Democracy

It's a policy that unfairly singles out trans kids for extra helpings of verbal and physical abuse when all they want to do is pee in peace. How is that not targeting?