Shmebulock.

If that works for you, I'd suggest Italian, but it's such an ugly language. How about Russian?

You're never gonna become a drunk if you're gonna be so damn picky.

Intergalactic bar crawl!

Breitbart: "Obama Loophole Allows Illegal-Immigrant Trickster To Stay In Country? #AnchorColts"

Trump banned the Skrulls and Galactus from Earth anyway, but has done nothing to stop the flow of terrorists from Chitauri Prime or Kree-Lar. Why is that? #FollowTheQuatloos

If those were the Chick tracts down by the railroad tracks, that isn't mold/mould.

CNN: "Massive spike in gun-related deaths of televisions, SNL likely suspect"

That'sa Whole Lotta Rosie {cue Angus Young on guitar}

Ah. A simple mistranslation of "soapy" into "foamy"…

Dandruff flakes

♫♪ "Hail to the bus driver…" ♫♪

And now they've just been libeled by being compared to Republicans.

This would also be a good disqualifier for potential election voters too.

Trump: Have Mary Poppins, Danny Devito, and Burgess Meredith waterboarded.
Pompeo: But sir, those aren't the…
Trump: Do as I say!

He'll order surgeons to graft Carson Tucker onto O'Reilly's torso for a Basket Case remake.

Relax, it could just be heartburn. If you still feel a glimmer of respect for O'Reilly after four hours…

It'll more likely be some threeway sex thing with each other. At least one of them will be autoerotic asphyxiated by Trump's tie.

Nah, they'll probably get M!lo Y!annopoulos to do it. He's probably cheaper than Miller too.

I didn't know I could feel fremdschämen that strongly until now.