Wait, don't be hasty. Let's hear Alcopheliac out. Especially if he can supply them to Trump Tower Grill and the White House cafeteria.

Great, like in the "expanding girth" sense.

You know things are fucked when Shockwave turns to alcoholism to cope.

It takes a couple crates of Coldplay CDs and a cask case of Amontillado Bacardi Breezers to wall up a single Fortunato.

Trickle Down Infonomics.

Wait'll the Air Buds guest star!

Maybe he harasses drag kings to meet his quota?

Oh God, my brain immediately tried to picture O'Reilly with a hemipenis.

Wait, The Stig shows up too?!?!

No that was only Stargate episodes S01E19 "Tin Man" and S04E21 "Double Jeopardy."

Are you happy? You've just single-handedly destroyed most of America's fondness for both cake and Marilyn Monroe.

Are you happy? You just made tens of Fantastic Four slash fic writers and Michael Chiklis begin vomiting copiously…"

CNN: "Stampedes of panicked, screaming genitals seen roaming throughout Internet-connected areas of the country. Here from the CDC is a Dr-

House of M written entirely by Bendis with no editors.

She'll wash out his hands with soap!

We've been warning other countries networks to get vaccinated against the h1snl1 virus for years, but they were "afraid it would affect the development" of their new shows. Now it's in Japan and Korea and likely to continue spreading. Hopefully they'll get serious before it's too late… an epidemic of Jimmy Fallon…

Or a square watermelon.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

The GitS: SAC Tachikoma Spider-Man tank is much cooler though (but totally non-violent).

I don't like fanfiction either. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.