The "Take a Poop, Leave a Poop" tray at the cash register never seems to have any takers.

She's practicing now for when Trump is sworn in in January.

Actually, unless you know the egg is fresh from the farm with the bloom coating intact, you should keep it refrigerated. Nearly all eggs sold in supermarkets have the bloom washed off; the bloom is what allows an egg to sit unrefrigerated without spoiling (usually).

But Beck comes with a free frogurt!

Poor Marvin, brains everywhere.

Xenu Xells Xanctuary by the Xeaxhore?

Wait, I thought he was secretly Bill Pullman.

Could've been worse. Could've made Miscavige the Secretary of Labor.

All I know is about bald women is that they're pretty insistent that the Creator must join with V'Ger.

"Pooty-poot!" — Shrub the Lesser

Ubiquitous. Mendacious. Polyglottal. Like a couple of donkey balls

Welcome to the First Church of Mar-a-Lago, with your Reverend Orange Julius Caesar.

Burarum, don't be hasty, Master Voxius!

{turns beet red, looks for something heavy to smoosh self}

Maybe smoosh them with something really embarrassing?

Someone let him read "Time Travel for Dummies" by Rip Hunter.

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Still too subtle…

Hopefully the new Wasp can avoid her deadliest archenemy, The Fearsomely Fertile Fig.

You can get your plushies if you want, but I want Gary and Tina action figures. Bonus if they come with different outfits to match all Leia's and Han's different looks.