McNeal hording the vending machine sandwiches still cracks me up.

I dunno, you really work that hat something fierce.

"Dr." Phil should watch Craig Ferguson's monologue about Britney Spears. Hopefully, McGraw might learn something.

After mentally translating Trump's quotes and Kellyanne Conway's duckspeak into something nearly intelligible for months on end, I'd think you could shift into full Internet Spamcommenter with ease.

It's like the Helping Hands game from Whose Line Is It Anyway? Trump stands there while Sanders stands behind him and provides the hands that actually do things, like sign bills or shake foreign leaders' hands.

BLOOD FOR THE TORTOISE GOD!

Trilbies and fedoras are both in the same animal phylum.

Yeah. Trans folk are gonna have to learn to hold their pee for at least four years. And not walk into any knives, fists, bullets from free-speeching bigots fellow Americans.

Does Serious Eats have a good recipe for bezoar?

Great. When Oswalt gets blacksited, Dunham will debut Patton-on-a-Steeek.

I hope you don't get renditioned and then waterdiked (blueballed?) in Guantanamo.

As long as he keeps tweeting Trump as NGAF Obama.

And damn it, start getting interested in local races… they're the ones that go on to the state and federal levels. That's how Ralph Reed's Christian Coalition did it, that's how the Tea Partiers did it. Hell, run yourself if you can. You'll likely have a lock on the crucial AV Club demographic.

Balls in the mashed potatoes for dinner,
Dick in the pudding for dessert.

You can get pretty hurt repeatedly slamming into an (apparently unbreakable) glass ceiling.

"Shame. Shame! Come back!" [/Joey]

I kinda like the idea of Kendra if she was an Unfrozen Hawkgirl Barista skit.

Can we have a Downfall parody of Mark Burnett ranting about Trump?

If you switch out O'Brien for Unhappy Christie, I think most of the Chief O'Brien at Work comics still apply. Although Trump as captain of the Enterprise is an intriguingly horrifying thought.

Me too. Having that little brainpower and/or empathy must be peaceful. I feel like an evolutionary deadend.