No matter how depressing you think it is, it can't be as depressing as it must have been for Reek Chris Christie to fetch Trump's MickeyD's take out.

Yeah, he went full Stephen Bannon, man. Never go full Bannon.

I'm not gonna link to it, but one of Trump's final national ads used some pretty blatant "antisemitic conspiracy" dogwhistling. I so wish I was joking.

Soooo, we should fill the Whitehouse and Congress with tasty spices, herbs, and condiments… have Emeril read To Serve Man as an audiobook and pipe it in… then lock the doors and wait for the bigliest Donner dinner party?

Only a little?

That's like saying that dying of liver cancer is better than dying from the bubonic plague.

Well, as long cheap-ass humans are still spontaneously combusting, I've got bigger things to worry about. Thanks, Chyna!

Salacious Crumb was probably really good at cleaning crevices.

You've never been to Florida?

*SECRET SAUCE*

To be fair, their AYCE "stuff your face" deal is hard to beat.

I prefer Zelda's sausage. Mmm, maple-y…

Are you sure you're not thinking of a rural Waffle House?

To be fair to the Ronald, it's hard to top the introduction of the Fish Delight.

This is the updated Frau Blücher joke I didn't know I needed.

And now you know… the rest of the Angry Whopper story.

He'd probably got it uploaded, was feeling good about his ingenuity, and then the next day walked out his front door [WHACK!] right into a lawnmower-powered human killing machine that the wasps had built in response. The splattered gore was a signal to his family to investigate the threat… [WHACK!] it got them then.…

I'm sticking with Sam "Old Glory" Watterson 2016. Under him, I'll be ready when the metal ones decide to come for us - and they will.

Less… Leave Matt Less out of this. [/Stannis]

DON'T. DATE. ROBOTS.