"Because he's the hero AV Club deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a snarky guardian. A watchful commenter. A Dik Knight."

On Fletch Lives: “I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the cartel that it built, and it is terrific.” - C. Caine

I've never done porn, but early 20s me can personally attest to the miraculous personality & not-giving-a-crap-with-gusto properties of running on peppermint schnapps… at least I think so. A lot of my memories from that time are pretty hazy. Or non-existent. And I'm still not quite sure how the car caught fire.

The armored fucking polar bears are fueled by Rumple Minze.

Your anti-oreos platform has made a powerful enemy of J'onn J'onzz.

Now I really really want James Hong as a Timelord.

That'd be a lot of awkward scenes between her and Hawkeye's current spouse, Trapper… or B.J.

Moles? How would warging into a beauty mark even work?! That's ridic-

Furrlock Bones. {snickers}

His secret is he visualizes each tooth is hollow, like a little pouch.

Trump/Goatse 2016!

Crap, imagine what Jesus means when he says he's "taking you to a donkey show."

And the campaign store manager batters the customer.

That's my secret, Cap. My colon's always angry.

Holy crap, you're right. Subtlety is his Kryptonite.

Someone tell SyFy to start on a Snydnado movie.

"Who put the reboot up their butts? That's cruel."

"Brownies? Yes, thank you!"

At this point, I'm going to blame Hannibal's mishandling and cancellation as another of the growing list of f*ck ups by Rip Hunter from Legends of Tomorrow.

Affleck gave him the ol' stink palm.