Sparkle-ly Stubbly Dark.

…at Alice's Pharmacy.

He's not even a pompatus of love.

Don't worry. Centauri is going around recruiting Angry Birds champs for the task.

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

Hey unhappy shareholders, eyes up here!

Dr. Luke for Trump veep?

The Wachowski Sisters sound like a pair of badass Polish Resistance snipers that Agent Peggy Carter teamed-up with in WWII.

Ah, good ol' Two-Buck Chuck.

Ser William Idol totally misled everyone. Or he's colorblind.

House Bulwer-Lytton, motto: "Editors?! We don't need no stinking editors."

Shmebulock: "Shmebulock."

Perhaps they were blinded by the light, held up like a loofah by the foreman of the night?

Ugh. Preschoolers are having puberty now?

Trump would die mysteriously and exquisitely satisfyingly before Inauguration Day was over.

IRANIANS' PAINS COME MAINLY FROM KHOMEINI.

{Jennifer Aniston angrily tweets tja68's Archive of Our Own pseudonym}

Funny, she doesn't look Drewish.

Spanakopita!

This. Is. AV CLUB!!! {kicks into the Venture pit}