He’s a moped. Fun to ride, but I wouldn’t want my friends knowing about it.

They’re like Pokemon. Your CARIBOU evolved into MOOSE! It learned STAND IN THE ROAD AND FUCK UP TRAFFIC!

“effectively outlaw abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy”

Do you really want an influx of New Yorkers and Los Angelinos hitting Chicago? Hush and be grateful.

HAHAHA! I’ve eaten in a Chipoodlelay in Ohio while visiting family. I also was fed avocadoes in second grade (in the 1970s) by my second grade teacher. And I kept olives in my locker in high school.

I’m a wife and I would want to know. I don’t care if the motivations are revenge or remorse, I would want to know. Want to know why? Because being in the dark about it while being played for a fool is way worse than the pain of knowing. I could be exposed to diseases, a stalker girlfriend who could hurt me or my kids,…

How is this article not written by Mark Shrayber?

You’re right, It IS very batman! I was almost expecting .... “To the youth of this city, I will seek justice on your behalf. This is your moment. This is your moment. What does that mean? ......Rise..... Deshii deshii basara! Deshii deshii basara !”

She’s the hero Baltimore deserves, and, fortunately, the one it needs right now.

In 2005, Keaton, then married and 41, started an affair with his teenage daughter’s 19-year old roommate, “JD.” When they broke up in 2008, Keaton started calling JD obsessively and leaving voicemails, which sounded like this:

It still cracks me up a bit that other places thought they had a shot. Bless their hearts.

For Shakespeare, all the world was a stage. For Russell Crowe, all the world is his lawn. And we need to get off of it. And he’s keeping the ball.

Why even provide a menu? Just link to a pdf that opens and says “FUCK YOUR CHOICES”.

Jif only has 3g of sugar in two tablespoons. Smucker’s natural peanut butter has 1g of (obviously naturally-occurring) sugar. It’s not really that drastic a difference.

What’s in the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax?

mostly other women calling her a “dumb bitch” or accusing her of having “bubonic plague,” for some reason

It sounds like the school realized that it didn’t have the tools to accommodate this girl and so took steps to put her into an academic setting where she could thrive? That seems like the responsible thing to do?

I prefer Princess Vivian, to be honest. I mean, she has a dragon, and she looks like Wednesday Addams. She is made of win and should be in more episodes.

God, I hate the pussy pedants.