I’m honestly kind of impressed? As someone with IBS, I would kill for that sphincter strength.

I do a similar thing with running. When I really, really don’t want to get out of bed at 6:30 AM to run before work (which is how I feel approximately 100% of the time), I tell myself, “If I let an excuse work this time, that excuse will work every time.” It’s kept me running consistently 3x a week for over a year.

Andy Richter wearing jeggings on an episode of Conan is my entire sexuality.

Him wearing glasses in The Martian.... Swoon City, population me.

I have to take prescription painkillers 2-3 days a month. They make me very loopy and disconnected from reality, but that’s better than screaming into my pillow for 48 hours straight. My IUD seems to have helped a little bit though?

Did anyone else go most of their life without hearing the word “janky”? I never heard it until I moved to the East coast. I kinda love it.

I’m leaning towards it not being Claire. Claire has smaller upper arms - though it could be the angle?

I can’t believe I didn’t get invited to this year’s family reunion

She was staying at the Four Seasons in downtown SF the week before the game. Several of my coworkers saw her at the Equinox next door. Turns out all it takes to see Beyonce is a $150/month gym membership.

This is still my pump-up song for mornings when I know I’m gonna have a hard day idc

I got a Mirena in mid-November. Insertion was painless but I had cripplingly painful cramps for 2-3 weeks afterwards. Luckily, now the cramps are gone and my periods are shorter and way less painful. I’m still thinking about getting it taken out, though, because my depression has gotten way, way worse since I got it.…

We do some work with this brand so we have a bunch of these implants laying around the office. If you hold ‘em by that middle bit, they look like soup dumplings.

I got an IUD last Monday and I stayed up all night beforehand reading horror stories about the insertion process. Turns out the insertion didn’t hurt me one bit, but I have had a straight week and a half of excruciating cramps that my doc didn’t warn me about. $5 for 5 years of birth control is great, but I’m not…

My dad is a 300lb, gruff, grumpy, perpetually unhappy man. He also worked himself up from abject poverty to become a pediatrician in his 40s. He is a 100% different person around kids and babies: bright, smiley, goofy, and wonderful.

Ooo, mine counts for two weeks in a row!

My first month living in San Francisco, I got on the N train for my morning commute. It was cold season, so I paid no attention to an old Asian lady coughing. Until she got a clear plastic Ziploc baggie out of her purse, opened it, and spit what she just coughed up into it. The baggie was already... rather full. And…

You learn so much about other peoples’ body issues when you lose weight. One of my coworkers who I adore, and who has been heavier in the past but is now thin, commented on the fact that I’ve lost 30lbs in the last year (I took up running). She asked if I planned to lose any more and I was like, nah, I’m actually…

Seriously. The scar on my thigh is twice the size the mole they removed was. There’s literally a divot in my toe from another mole removal. As long as they’re not a cancer risk, I never want another one removed. I like my body’s constellations.

Any time I am in a dark room with someone I try to come up with an excuse to read them “Look At Me” because it freaks EVERYONE out. This has not been good for my sex life.

YES I WAIT FOR THIS ALL YEAR. Last year I sat in the candlelight in our common area at work and read a dozen of the stories aloud to my coworkers and got some actual screams (especially “Turn Around”). It was amazing.