Soooo we’re all in agreeance the husband was definitely in there jerking off and not taking a dump, right?

i’m floored. i wasn’t prepared for that many twists 

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK

It is the best one ever, and it’s not close.

What the everloving fuck is that email of the week.

I don’t know when else I’m gonna be able to tell this story, so I’ll latch onto the super-tenuous connection here and brag about this now.

The only thing I’d add is that Hannity has been the ass trumpet of this theory that its the big bad Federal government screwing California farmers for years. He did a whole set of remote shows from the area during the Obama administration, for example, to air bullshit grievances centered around the protection of the…

I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety most of my life. I’ve also said reprehensible things. One is not a result of the other.

Thanks for bringing that up! Actually, because we have depleted the land’s natural water tables, and because climate change-induced drought has kicked our butt so hard, and because historically the delta is a *wetland*, the land has subsided over the past hundred years of farm use to the point where we need levees to…

That’s gonna be a close call. Let’s check with the booth in New York.

BUT...

This.

Just to clarify, he’s likely reffering to a common complaint offered by his Big Boy Friend, Devin Nunes. Basically, a lot of central valley and southern California water comes from the Sacramento–San Joaquin River Delta. There’s a lot of water rights, I don’t understand but I get some of the gist.

Basically, Central…

It’s pure bullshit isn’t it? I’ve known several abused women whose husbands/boyfriends had bizarrely specific guidelines about what constituted abuse. According to these various men, none of the following constitute abuse: shoving someone into a wall, pinning your wife face-down on a bed so she can’t breathe, hitting…

Saying “I never hit her” in response to whether or not you were the perpetrator of domestic violence when you have admitted in writing to choking you wife is among the most ridiculous bullshit I’ve heard in a while.

Mother would also disapprove.

Why does Pence give me a Norman Bates vibe?

Antoine Dangerfield is a preposterous name for a person and an excellent name for a cat. 

If you want to anger Mike Pence, form a union.

“I don’t know enough about the rule to understand it right now and comment on it.”