I spent a season bumping chairs when I was younger, and part of the training was watching this insane video that showed what would happen if all the brake systems failed. Enjoy:

‘“Non-violent offenders who made poor choices in tough environments as young men,” Bice, a basketball official since 1991, said of the inmates he’s taught.’

The only example I can even think of of someone being “chosen” for one of our squads in Winter Olympics as opposed to just automatically qualifying through having the best results is figure skating, where in 2014 they took a photogenic white girl who finished 4th at nationals instead of the non-photogenic…

This is a west coast vs east coast thing. Families from the west coast, like my wife’s, see a peck on the mouth as no big deal. Families from the east coast, like mine, prefer a nod of the head and then not speaking to each other except on major holidays, like Leap Year.

I always love when players thank Jesus for helping them win, because Jesus gives fuck all about the Christians on the other team right?

God damn, the Olympics get me JACKED THE FUCK UP for sporting events I otherwise never give a shit about, and I swear if this guy rolls in and ATTACKS the ice skating arena in Pyeongchang with “Turn Down for What,” I am going to throw my table through my window a fit of ragejoy.

Joey Joe Joe Jr....Shabadoo?

“Hola, Amigos. I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have been pretty fucked up...”

So he sat on this for 6 months until he did something worthy of a reply? That is pretty awesome.

Hypocriticus 3:18 - Verily, verily I say unto you: Fuck bitches, get money.

I think Sagan is way more popular than Froome on his best day. Sagan’s expulsion from this year’s tour was just insane, both from a fairness perspective and from a sport marketing perspective.

yes- and:

Insert into the timeline:

The current commercial that I can’t stand is the shark book for kids woman with the terrible haircut.

That Apple iPad girl? She’s lying. She knows what a computer is. Don’t play dumb with me, little girl. Typing away on an iPad in a Brooklyn backyard is sucky and you know it. Get a real laptop.

Who the fuck are the Redskins?

I think Deadspin writers should refer to the Washington Football team only as the Redhawks going forward. If only to upset emotionally fragile Redhawks fans. Please

Can Deadspin just start calling them the Washington Redhawks from now on?

“I DON’T KNOW IN WHICH DIRECTION THE SUN SETS ON TWO”