Aside from being generally prepared and not overestimating your abilities, OBEY THE FUCKING SIGNS. The sign says don’t swim there....don’t swim there. The sign says don’t climb over the railing....don’t climb over the railing. The sign says stay on the trail....stay on the trail. 80% of those signs are there because…

The people getting mad about sesame street characters not being on their baby’s shit rags anymore, and the people yelling that their Starbucks cup is plain red instead of covered in crosses and pictures of baby Jesus, are the same people. It’s not a Venn diagram, it’s a perfect circle.

pretty sure everyone dealing with a baby is crazy.... lack of sleep will do that

I think Audi is going for a model that the bumpers don’t fall off to compensate for slightly slower 0-60 times.

She absolutely does not look 30.

God this is so sad… I’ve been actively blocking all news on this from my brain I realized because it reminds me so much of my schizophrenic/heroin addicted ex fiancée, and for the first time I realized I’m waiting for the news he’s dead. I have been for years. It’s something I didn’t even realize I was dreading or…

This is so heartbreaking.  Between Manchester and this, I hope she is ok. 

I hope she’s okay. She’s had to go through so much unimaginable shit and has handled it much better than I could have despite being much younger.

I think about this all time. I’m regularly caught talking to myself in public (I work from home and have adopted this habit because it gets quiet, man) and doing other really asinine but seemingly bizarre/unflattering things. The other day someone caught me singing a little ditty about how my shirt was riding up as I…

Then you haven’t been paying attention.

Even if she’s speaking her mind to defend and promote men who prey on children?

This is exactly why I will never be famous. I itch my ass, scratch my head, pick my nose and wear unflattering clothes all the time. This picture would destroy me on the inside. 

😬😬😬

I read The Help and wanted to know more about the working women and their perspectives. The Help’s author referenced Telling Memories Among Southern Women by Susan Tucker, so I got a copy.

I can do that! Thanks!

Great!

Oh it’ll get worse now that Gmail has introduced those reply options generated by an algorithm. 

Your Customers: 40ish-year-old women who own a Chevy Tahoe and drive it right down the center of ANY two-lane driveway.

I think, between this and the annual Williams-Sonoma catalog review, we have learned that Drew needs to do more catalog reviews.

Blood and Splenda isn't so bad if you get the ratio right.