Right! When I played with dolls, it wasn't "passive". There were plotlines. There were adventures. My favorite Barbie was actually my ugliest one. I named her Misery and she was a fully flushed out character.

My favorite story in these books was a fairly subdued gothic horror story about two old men in a hospital room.

Men's biggest fear about online dating: a fat chick.

In my personal experience, people who order "artisanal anything" tend to be pretentious douchehats Blake Lively.

For the benefit of all moms, future moms, and happily child-free friends of moms, I will share the words of my amazing pediatrician when it became clear that breastfeeding was not going to work for me and my son despite my increasingly frantic efforts:

You know, I have been poor, and a single mom and I certainly needed to vent and complain. Luckily I chose friends who weren't judgmental, and could complain back to me when they needed to -whether they were stay at home moms or not- Chronic whining is unpleasant in anyone. Needing to talk about things being hard…

What a waste of money. 30 grand could have put a couple of those sex dolls through college.

I see nothing wrong with your Billy Idol crush. Not then, not now!

Jas and Ness Rose... Amber Rose... Peter Rose-nberg... all connected, you see? WAKE UP AMERICA.

Law and Order SVU episode in 5... 4.... 3...

Well, not all White people...FUCK IT!

Time to bust out a new burner name: TheonGreycommentJoy.

yay! i'll happily go back to being ignored in the greys if it means no more terrible gifs everywhere :D

I'm cancelling this week everyone. This week is now over. Everyone please go home and set your alarms for Monday morning.

Re: Kim and now being "low-maintanence"

oh god, it's the same rational as dudes being like YOURE WELCOME FOR GRAVITY AND EDUCATION AND PHYSICS AND STUFF- ALL FROM MEN UR WELCOME

What! I thought that shit was going to show the reporter on fucking fire and the camera guy with Freddy Kruger slashes on his back, not some jank ass scratch I couldn't even see while that crazy lady spews crap about "demons" as a damn door gently closed (not even slamming? GTFO). The only thing that house is haunted…

This is just the episode of The Simpsons where Homer won't let Bart see the Itchy and Scratchy Movie. This daughter will be thanking her mom when she eventually becomes Chief Justice of the United States. #simpsonsdidit

Whoopi Goldberg, you are making Jenny McCarthy be the reasonable one! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.