Aside from fringe crazies and deaf, horny guys, who are this woman's fans?

And then he nodded, satisfied with his list and convinced that he had hit the basic deal-breakers. Then he put on his fedora, went online, and complained that no women ever want to date such a nice guy like him.

the perfume i get the most compliments on is brit's midnight fantasy, but this new one ("lush red lychee, golden quince, and exotic kiwi") sounds like it smells delicious. i did have to google what quince is though, apparently it's in the same family as pears. pears... spears.... i feel like there's something there.…

Among the Jezebel staff we have a conspiracy theory that the Kardashians were created in a lab by a group of A-list celebrities to soak up all the tabloid attention.

I read your comment incorrectly the first time and thought you said you Febreezed your kids.

First of all, Paris, Einstein was a Pisces. Secondly, geniuses don't believe in astrology. Super effort, though.

I didn't but can I guess as to which station it was on?

But when are kiddie barrettes coming back? I have some Courtney Love circa 1994 I've been wanting to channel for years.

C.A., I've had a really rough day, and even more difficult evening, and I just want to say how grateful I am to come on here and read someone so boldly expressing all the things that I wish I had the courage to say if I weren't so worn out from all the loud, awful people berating me for saying them.

So thank you.…

My daughter is so obsessed with that loom (like to the point that I have to make her do other things like eat, sleep, play, read). I bet she could whip out this dress in a day with the right youtube instructional video. We're on the verge of looking for a loom rehab facility.

You... you Super Size me.

Only Brad Paisley is allowed to suck at a Brad Paisley concert!

I'm not defending Playboy but it's pretty well known that they haven't been doing well for years. They don't pay models much, considering who they are and taking industry standard rates into consideration. So, how does an increasingly irrelevant publication in an increasingly irrelevant format grab headlines (and…

Those images makes me feel like:

Co-host on Opie and Anthony

WWE Jock Strap Attendant.

That's right. No loose ends.

Or the bear assassin she hired and now must get rid of.

...if they don't shave their arm pits or legs for 10 weeks...