Wait you AND Lindy are leaving??? Is this a mass exodus????

Any story that has "Gets Kicked In the Dick" in the headline is A-ok in my book.

My best friend is a 5'3" tiny woman, and she runs all the time. Once she was alone and a dude on his bike smacked her ass. So she shoved him off his bike and yelled, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT WEARING A HELMET, ASSHOLE!!!" and then ran off.

She was truly a glorious cunt.

The more I'm forced to think about the Kardashians (when people mention them around me) the more I realize they are awful people.

Isn't he the guy who stuffed money in a waiter's mouth and loves to make believe he's the dude from American Psycho?

Always Sunny had a great quote about dreams:

I know i'm beating the dead horse when I say that turning a famous woman's body into a commodity is vile and horrible, but I am still never-endingly stunned that when there's an opportunity to help or view her in a human light they can't and resort to seeing the entire matter as a property/copyright dispute.

When I was married, our puppy somehow got up on the bathroom vanity and ate my contact lens case, which contained my contact lenses. My husband thought it would be a good idea if I just waited until Holly pooped and then see if the contacts were there, so that I could still use them.

I care!!!

Oh my. Ian Somerhalder. Sex shop. $1000. Oh my. Oh my goodness. *faints*

Eh, not gonna waste my time feeling sorry for guys who can buy $12,000 watches.

I am of the firm belief that one should never see the face of God.

dont ever change, cassiebearRawr

How's this: "All women are beautiful to someone."

"No man, proclaimed Donne, is an island, and he was wrong. If we were not islands, we would be lost, drowned in each other's tragedies. We are insulated (a word that means, literally, remember, made into an island) from the tragedy of others, by our island nature and…

You must be fortunate enough to have never seen the GIFs that forced all of Gawker to reinstate pending comments.

You stop that. You stop that right now.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!