“I do not support any animal abuse...” *pours hot tar on mosquito hawk*

*Gives lecture about Zika to cover ass, despite not actually killing a mosquito*

My favorite part of that movie was when I imagined him spending 10+ hours setting all of that up.

The C stands for "Coma".

Right, I picked up on all that. Glad it's just not us who feel weirded out by them. So how does it resolve?

Minor spoilery question about last season: my best gal and I lost interest about 2/3 of the way through because of the whole "IS MATTHEW RHYS GOING TO STICK IT IN A MINOR??!?!?!" plotline. (It was a tad too icky for us.) Does that plotline actually lead anywhere thematically rewarding? I want to love this show, but I…

All sarcasm/online roleplay aside, that actually made a lot more sense to me. Time to hang myself on the rooftop community garden in shame.

AHHHHHHHHHHH got it. You see, I'm from "the city," and we "city folk" don't take too kindly to agrarian metaphors, as it makes us look like we're the ignorant ones and thus flips our simplistic paradigm on its head.

I'm sorry, "Closing the barn door"? Is that a midwest saying?

Not to victim blame, but lots of people were totally asking for this and deserved what they got. Fueled by nostalgia, Buzzfeed articles, and a healthy dose of schadenfreude, I'm surprised the audience clamoring for shows like Fuller House aren't getting more revivals.

Whew, glad I never got too invested in this one. Dodged a bullet.

Ha ha! That's EXACTLY the kind of humor we were all hoping for!

People already commute 1-1.5 hours each way in the Bay Area because of extreme housing prices. If Bakersfield were only an hour away via bullet train, it’d open up a lot of potential affordable real estate.

I hope he's some sort of Ridley ancestor, but with hijinks.

Yeah what's up with that guys what do we even pay you for

Yeah, maybe this would have been another Mulaney.

If only they could have hired one of the albino native American comedic actresses in her age range instead.

I ran with my phone, so the GPS wasn’t too big of an issue. But I’ve never been one to not run with my phone. I can see why others would want to be able to just run, especially if they don’t listen to music.

News about The Killers, Anima Collective, and Andrew Bird in the same day? It's 2008 week on The AV Club!

Well, at least some good came out of this horror.

That explains the whispy, unintimidating voice.