I remember when Grimace broke into my apartment, tied me up, and then made me watch while he put my cats in the microwave. I told him I'd hate him forever, but he simply replied, "Lovin' beats Hatin'."

Right?!! Gah I'd eat a baby right now if it tasted like chicken.

This is like a crossover with that "KFC's Essential Chickenmaking Rules" piece, right?

And yet here we all are, not only having read the video, but now making our important opinions about it known.

Do they coat the baby in KFC's trademarked original recipe before cooking it?

Ah. I took your comment to be about parodies in general. Yes, it seems the AV Club knows its audience too well in this regard. Not everything tangentially related to on-the-nose Wes Anderson references needs to appear on the front page, thank you very much.

Those are remarkably high expectations for basement-produced parodies. Even SNL wouldn't meet your expectations.

Already seen it in the wild.

Seriously. The value of a Jlaw nip slip dropped faster than bitcoin. Even TMZ is like, "Oh new JLAW n00dz? Naw thx we got like 400 last weekend we're good"

Huh. I guess I took adulthood for granted. Thanks, Internet, for constantly reminding me I believe too highly in humanity.

…Aren't I supposed to be saying that to you, creeper?

"Does knowing that they were responsible for the cruel violation of dozens of peoples’ privacy give them the confidence they need to make it through another day at Best Buy?"

And now someone has made a meta-sarcastic comment about the second-level sarcastic comment, leading to sarcastic comments about sarcastic comments ad inifitum.

Oh wow someone has made a sarcastic comment about someone taking a lighthearted childhood something and reimagining it as something hardcore and dark. How brilliant and original.

San Jose. And we love the Cinema theaters – $6.50 a ticket for a new movie? Yes please. And the free drink/popcorn deals are awesome.

Psh. If you're lucky. In some AMC theaters near me (Bay Area), they're $16/each on busy nights. And you pick up your bucket of popcorn from a shelf! It's not even fresh! FRESH MOVIE POPCORN IS THE ONLY REASON TO GO TO THE MOVIES, AND THEY RUINED THAT, TOO.

Darkest Timeline something something. This kind of news is wearing me out and setting absurdly high expectations the show will need to reach so this all feels worth it.

Except they have drawn Spiderman like this, a lot:

Their FAQ says you have to verify card ownership:

"Q. What steps does the Coin app take to prevent cards from being added fraudulently?

Welp, since my wife and I moved to Silicon Valley a few weeks ago so I could move into working with Fortune 500 companies (I'm a freelance copywriter/content strategist looking to move away from client work and towards full-time employment), this article is about a month late for me. ;)