I have some words of advice to give to the horse. In times like this, look to the words of the wise prophet Soulja Boy and “Superman that hoe”.

He looks like a Dothraki power bottom.

He fucking looks like someone that rides their bike through red lights at busy intersections.

Asparagus pee made me snicker yesterday and I’m a 33-yr-old lady. Always funny.

I insist A) that Pluto is a planet, and B) that Uranus’s unfortunate name is canceled out by its cool sideways-ness and by how it is usually rendered in a sinister greenish color.

“Because now you see this guy is at home. And, to be honest with you, I give it to you raw. I don’t know no other way to give it to you — raw and uncut, I always say that.”

McAdoo about nothing.

the chess board symbolizes obviousness.

☐ Mayweather

he was just waving to LB Kyle Van Noy.

I think the rough beast was born and is no longer slouching

How fucking pedantic can you get?

Maybe watersports.

That, combined with the balls it takes for the dad to have his son kick a ball at a chocolate piece of cake on a beige carpet

I miss knobs. I mean, really. I can turn a knob without taking my eyes off the road. I shouldn’t have to pull over to change the temperature of the car or adjust the volume.

So the Timberwolves will be the first SB Nation blog with its own NBA team, eh? Cool.

+1 for your name

Did Fagin really attempt to snub Walton, or was it more of an artful dodge?

Because I want to be in Japandroids.

For those uninterested in reading through his bullshit, here’s the gist: