“nothing major was wrong with the car. Impressive for a vehicle that’s 30 years old with 147,000 miles on it”

Isn’t this the story of how they met?

I am pro-choice and pro-nipple. Girl power!

Do I care what Melania Trump has ever said or not said?

They should be mandatory for chefs. Hot kitchen, bending over food... blech!

I wasn't there, nor you. Let's just STFU. We know nothing.

Falling off the bike... better than the last president, who couldn’t get ON a bike.

They reserve the right to do their own binding arbitration... it’s in their terms of service that we all don’t read, but click “accept” anyway.

“The animatronic superhero froze...” - from the article’s headline. Seems like a strange thing to miss when reading an article.

Lauren "2 Abortions" Boebert against a woman's right to choose. Classic Republican hypocrisy.

“no one is asking Ted Cruz why he’s hanging out with prostitutes”

Damn, I'm glad to be on the far side of life. This world is too fucked up to grow up in.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I’d take nine bucks an hour just to have the opportunity to get within striking distance of that abusive district manager. Heck, I’d PAY nine bucks an hour to have a meeting with him.

“it would be very difficult and expensive to take Miller out of The Flash. They’re the title character”

Oh, I was hoping for hints on frying me up something Krispy Kreme-worthy.

Like Ricky Gervais, the more people Seth offends, the more I like him.

“distractingly played by Flea”