Reverse-engineering alien technology is difficult too!

Kia owner about to become Porsche owner.

Celebrating the reserection on Easter.

To be fair, he did admit that he looked like a scrotum. And true or truer, it was the best goddamned moment of the night.

Because that’s the point of the piece.

I’m all for Chris fine-tuning/editing any joke at Will Smith’s expense.

Ah, the dreaded inverse relationship between low IQ and increased fertility!

No. It’s not too much to ask. In fact, it’s not enough. Whatever is worst than “worst,” that might be enough.

I guess all those poor kids that go without gifts on their birthdays and Christmas are still better off without this plastic garbage. Better underground than under the tree.

Daytime TV Apocalypse?

Let’s get rid of “thank you” and “have a nice day” while we’re woke-ing up the English language. Maybe I don’t want to have a nice day. Maybe I don’t want your fucking thanks.

“You cant separate the art from the artist...”

The only good romcom is the non-romcom.

“unintended” my 4k ass.

“realistic vaginas...will be removed”

This is $60 Voldemort won’t be getting from me.

They could hire an editor... or just lease one.

Imagine working for a nut-fuck like that!

Daughter of Ted Cruz... I could not sympathize more with her.

And he's nuttier than a Payday bar.