Either Ford hires this guy now, or he runs off and starts his own car company and drives them out of business.

“Build cars at home.”

And why the hell aren’t we all entitled to a free lifetime pass to OUR National Parks? You know, the ones we pay billions of dollars in taxes to maintain and protect? I don’t mind paying my fair share of taxes for these things. I DO mind having someone at a gate hold out their hand for more money before I can enter my…

Dammit, it’s always the poor and the rich that get everything for free. It sucks being middle-class. You know, the class that works all day long, everyday, and pays all the tax that buys everything for everyone else.

I drink a half cup of Clorox before I leave the house everyday. Then, I chase down another half cup when I get home. So far, so good.

E3 2020 cancelled. Not because of the coronavirus. Just nobody cared.

Readers, please email me for the article’s author’s PIN #. Get it while it’s hot. I’m sure it will be changed be week’s end. And if you have a problem with that, don’t email me or share your streaming account password, or post copyrighted images to Facebook, etc., etc.

At our unit in the hospital, we use the “sterile high five.”

I only use vodka in my mouth sanitizers.

In a post-Tesla world, the Aztek actually looks pretty cool.

I was going to relish telling her.

When I am king, it won’t matter. I’ll sleep and wake up whenever I want.

“Low information black voters”

Alcohol and guns... that describes about 99% of America.

Or what about that other Ben tearjerker? You know... the story about how he cheated on his son’s mommy and broke up the family? An oldie but a goody for the talk show circuit.

Life’s a gamble... catch the coronavirus or eat at Subway. We all die of something eventually.

Why would I do that? I’m white.

Just grab a bottle of cheap Vodka. Best of all, after you wash your hands with it, you can drink the leftovers.

Excellent! I love Social Darwinism.

Oh, I remember this one. By far, Keaton was the best Batman and wore the coolest batsuit.