Urals are so cool. I want one solely so I can get goggles and a scarf for my dog and cruise around with him haha

It’s big

I’m fairly certain the first guy to publish a scouting report on Andrew Luck was Gary Gygax.

Your wife’s car isn’t crap because it cost $34K. Your wife’s car is crap because it’s an Escape.

what

A hot dog.

You guys seriously have to stop. I can’t keep my hand in my pants all day, I have to go to work!

The fleas and the livers got ground up, mixed into solutions, and then injected into guinea pigs.

I have laced these citruses with acid mushrooms. Your bat will become your mother. The ball will become a 95mph disembodied tongue and we, the mighty Cubs, will ride surfboards made of light into the True Truth that lies at the center of the Universe. We will also miss the playoffs, but we won’t know it because we are…

That may be the single worst over fender / flare job I have ever seen

But they can park nose to curb in the space of a postage stamp when you’re still looking for an available parking space.

My father in law has had a string of yukons and blames Obama for high gas prices any times it's over $2.50 a gallon. It's his daily commuter.

Um, I think you’re missing the point here.

Who does this

You deserve every joke made about you.

People who drive giant SUVs and bitch about their poor gas mileage. What the hell did you expect?

The one bright side right now: at least we won’t be subjected to a Simmons column about how “BRADY AND BELICHICK ARE GONNA BE IN FACKIN’ EFF-YOU MODE ALL SEASON MY GAWD.”

Judge: [overturns ruling]

Roger Goodell has carefully mulled this over, because he wants to make it right.

“hi mom, It’s me Jimmy. Yeah, cancel the party and catering company... no I won’t be playing... Coach Bill just locked my uniform in the closet again”