RIKER SKEEVE LEVELS APPROACHING MAXIMUM

Leonardo has always identified as a tortoise.

You’re really underestimating Creationists if you think mere evidence will undermine their unshakeable faith in woo.

Reading the head line of “transitional turtle” I thought for a moment that one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle might be going transgender.

YOUR WORLD IS COLLAPSING, CONSERVATIVES!!!!

His name is Humpty, pronounced with an "umpty."

I bought a giant tank of liquid nitrogen and I have some gel pads, gonna try to melt my fat off this weekend. Wish me luck!

He’d have seen Riker in Voyager, DS9 and Enterprise. :D

“It’s weird how one group of people took refracted light. That’s very greedy, gays.”

You deserve a point for that.

I hope everyone has a super gay weekend.

What is with all the Kinja awfulness this week? At least from Chrome both at work and at home, posting has been extremely hit-and-miss (often the post won’t seem, to “take” the first time, leading to a plague of reposts), it has featured very laggy-ass scrolling, half the Recommend stars have been hidden, text has…

ADDENDUM: I should’ve probably mentioned that I was banned from the cosmetic procedure social network RealSelf while researching this article because apparently bugging CoolSculpting patients about whether they saw the fat in their poop violated the terms of service.

Back and forth. Forever.

“ people generally take daily dumps that weigh 1 to 4 pounds”
A 4 lb smash? For fuck’s sake. WTF did you eat?

Stop, please...I can only get so erect.

YALL

Ok grey, if you say so.