It's a good theory, but I don't think it makes complete sense. Priefer wouldn't cut you because he'd be afraid that he'd catch AIDS.

You lovely bastard.

Really nobody's gonna put the man there? I mean say all you want, but giving your life up for the kid of the love of a woman that never loved you back.... that's well....thats dedication if anything.

Spike!

The Lord of the Rings, Samwise Gamgee, Ring Bearer and Ring Bearer Bearer. *Drops microphone, walks off*

Who wore it better?

And before anyone gets any bright ideas, it is almost impossible to get pet fruit flies to stay on their leash, and the vet will give you some very strange looks when you bring them in to be spayed and neutered.

UGH JON DO ME

I love this interpretation! And it is so very cat. Dogs also helped humans and continue to want to do so. Cats are all, "Na, we put our time in."

Reading this I realize if it weren't for cats we would still be struggling to not starve to death on our road to building Civilizations. No wonder they sleep all day now while we work to support their lifestyle. They worked hard to get us to this point.

I still think we're dodging this issue of penguins chilling with polar bears, which mocks both God AND Darwin.

The thing is, Santa is SUPPOSED to be magical. So why not just tell kids this:

Have looked through all six rooms in my apartment (including the bathroom) and am unable to uncover a single fuck to give about how many consenting adults someone wants to marry.

eeee. I really could give less than two fucks about who wins the Heisman. But he hasn't been convicted of a crime. I don't think its reasonable to expect anyone accused of a crime to automatically be treated as though they've been convicted.

For me, it's the idiot who just asked "yea but why is this on jez, this is a sports story duh"

"Hey man, what the hell are you doing? Hey kids, stop cryin'. Santa is real as fuck." LOL. Love her.

We should probably try to, as a rule, start every comment on this forum with "As Sirius Black said" from now on. This would make me very happy.