This was from a great sitcom in the 90’s called NewsRadio starring the late great Phil Hartman and Kids in the Hall’s (another great show) Dave Foley. In this episode their boss Jimmy James writes a book and finds out it is cheaper to have it printed in Japan but when they translate it back to English Hilarity ensues.

You know that old piece of problem-solving advice that states “first thing you do when you’re in a hole is that you stop digging”? Yeah, apparently, nobody told Grande.  God bless you, girl, double-down.

I only took Japanese 101, and I’ve forgotten most of it, but I do remember that Japanese grammar counts objects differently than English. The best analogy is to how we count “paper.” You don’t say, “Please hand me 2 papers,” you say, “Please hand me 2 sheets of paper.” Or you don’t say “Buy 2 toilet papers,” you…

She absorbs it through osmosis. You know, kind of like the time she licked all those donuts and then proclaimed how much she hated America. One lick was all it took for her to realize how much she hated us (despite being one of us) which is really quite impressive; it usually takes a day or two for most people.

It’s insane. Even my mil and fil have an emergency call box in the elevator in their two-story house, and they’re not billionaires. I suspect their elevator inspection was not up to date and perhaps they “opted out” (read: assholes are cheap and don’t give a fuck about safety) of paying a monthly fee for the service,…

Seriously! I don’t care what Asshole In The Video says, she could have died in there. What if she were diabetic and needed to get to her medication or something? What if she had small kids who didn’t know what to do when school got out and no one came to get them? What if she were responsible for caring for an elderly…

It’s edgy. It shows people how intellectual you are for knowing a language nobody else around you speaks. Until someone does speak it and tells you how that tattoo/T-shirt means “I’m stupid”.

burnt her hand on a small charcoal grill.

That is probably the main question of the investigation. Chances are it had one, but it wasn’t working for some reason.

My last office didn’t even have a functioning one,  no matter how often I pestered my boss about it. 

Took the words out of my mouth. Does NYC not require a landline in home elevators?

Being told how great he was as a kid? Maybe by his fans. All he got from his dad was a beating, though his siblings probably got it worse because they weren’t as talented.

I think the royalty money goes to Katherine Jackson who seems to have been ok with her husband beating her sons, possibly pimping out Michael at one point, and raping some of her daughters, but drew a line at him having a consensual affair..... So, I guess, just don’t spend anymore money on Michael Jackson stuff until…

His future royalties should all be going to survivors of his predation.

Rebbie and LaToya did come out later in the 90s and say Joe sexually abused them. And Katherine knew about it. Some nights, she would tell Joe to stop to let them get some sleep, per LaToya’s book. Rebbie moved out of the home when she was 16. I know everyone says she’s the crazy Jackson, but I do believe she got…

I mean. It’s not a contest. Two things can be terrible at the same time. Michael Jackson was a victim and an abuser. He’s not the “real” victim in all this. He’s one victim who abused a separate population of victims.

But you’re getting at something that I’m not seeing in the broader discussion of Me Too, perhaps…

This does not absolve Michael from responsibility in any way, but shows that he was not the only responsible party in this. From a young age (which probably includes some sexual abuse as well) he was only told how great he was, and how everything he does was right, and proper. Nobody every instilled in him good…

I disagree. The real tragedy are his victims. Another way of looking at Michael Jackson is he crafted a persona that appealed to children. Mild- mannered. Child-like. His home was built to entice children. All to create the perfect environment for a predator. People act like Michael Jackson was some sort of naive waif…

Yeah, i’m pretty sure the “real tragedy” is Michael Jackson raping children.

“Gayer than a Christmas tree full of monkeys” is delightful - bless you, sir/madam...