“Don’t you yell at him!” -Normcore Rockwell

I recently took my dad to see Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band and even at 92 years old (or whatever) he still rocked. He should be, like, No. 40 or something.

This sound like something a Ghost would say to throw us off. 

Does your wife know he went to Harvard? 

Tough to be an MLB pitching coach when you refuse to work with lefties.

The hell is a trocolyte, you troglodyte?

For the sake of his sister’s health, let’s hope the Jets don’t tie on Sunday.

I think Bosa’s attitude had less to do with old college grudges than with the well known fact he just hates the browns. 

Great article. Almost brought a tear to my eye.

Why the fuck is HR calling me again?

FERRY INTERIOR:

“Did that guy on the loudspeaker just say he was going to blow us up in 15 minutes unless someone makes an off-balance 21-foot jumper while double-teamed?”

More like Paul Substandardbaum amiri...

I had an entire take on Bush that was about how our inability to continue to hate them meant we transferred that hate to Nickleback, then realized I was confusing Bush for Creed, and really, that’s as insulting as it can get.

Slapping your face on Darnolds would definitely get you a few sick days

Your sentence structure is giving me CTE

The young girl felt better later after visiting the last custard stand.

I haven’t been this distraught since Pol Pot died.

Yes, just as it is not a code word to disguise “hate fags” in our profile name by spelling it backwards, 557sgafetah. My, aren’t you clever.

Gravity finally gets its sweet revenge on Newton. 

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”