I bought two carts of Alaskan Thunder Fuck

What is going on with the wife situation here? Are the two wives getting together to collaborate on cracker supplies?  Are they road-tripping together?  Will the video be available as a subscription?

Made the mistake of going to these tweets on Twitter. Couldn’t get past this comment.

Well kiss me on the mouth and call me Tom Brady’s son... I don’t have anything else. This whole thing seems really stupid.

“We also see dead people.”

-Each of 70,828 paying MetLife attendees

Too much of mom’s chili

they better flex that shit on Sunday Night Football

I hate double standards. If he had horribly broken his ankle, they would have shown it twenty times, zooming in more each time, going in slower and slower motion. But expect the same in a case like this, and it’s “unseemly” and “creepy” and “Sir, please stop calling us in the booth and how did you get this number,…

Joe Burrow Scouting Report

That was a real half-assed tackle.

Still not clarified, is it the low knee or the high knee.

“that the people in charge of baseball, a big and beloved American thing, don’t seem to care about it very much”

This is why we do this.

1) We are going to keep doing it for as long as we’re permitted to do so and 2) I’ll go ahead and assess that ticket stub for you: it’s worth like five thousand dollars to me.

To quote Councillor Hamann from The Matrix Reloaded:

I saw a Sixers one in Goodwill once and even for me it was clear that I could not buy it. It was too big, but it was the equivalent of bringing home a Chucky.

I hope Antiques Shitshow becomes a regular feature. If so, can someone please assess the only piece of sports memorabilia I own: a ticket stub from the August 7, 1993 Houston Astros at San Francisco Giants game torn at the perforation but signed by both Darryl Kile AND Pete Harnisch.

This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen.

What are you willing to offer for my Andrew Bynum Cavs jersey?