Hey man, when we can’t dunk on Cricket stans, the imperialists have won.

Hell’s Angels that’s funny!

Reference about a quarter century past the use-by date . . . as am I. Have a star and a piece of hard candy. Wake me up with Matlock is on the television, will ya’?

I know what you said are technically names and words, but just a heads up, none of it makes sense. 

“If you can’t make it work in Santa Clara, just do what we did and move everything to Altamont!

Detroit, because they are probably the largest city without a professional football team.

My friends and I would regularly say, “I hate you and I hate your ass face!”

MOTHER APPROVES

A man working alone with two women? He does not approve.

Doesn’t Kevin Fahey know HE’S supposed to be the one who gets hand jobbed?

This is why I ref 10 and under at my local Y. Ejections. Nothing, absolutely nothing, feels like ejecting the little punk when he looks at you wrong. Raise an eyebrow, you’re gone son. Dad screaming bloody murder from the sideline, take a walk kid. Someone has got to teach these kids a lesson. Sometimes life is cruel,…

Mike Pence approves

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

How is it possible for a comment to be this perfect?

Derek Carr: "I would be more upset if I weren't so heavily sedated."

Considering the whole time this was happening there was an actual documentary crew following everyone around and filming as much as possible, that makes the comparison even more fitting.

Everyone involved in this saga on both the Steelers and the Raiders feels like a character in a Christopher Guest movie.

There are no rest days when you’re trying to crawl out of the grays for good

Credit to Michigan, they took about as long to beat Army as it took the North Vietnamese.

Taking the Army to multiple overtimes is a fun tribute to the war in Afghanistan