I didn’t even know they had laws in Florida.

In fairness...every beef product you get at BK tastes like something a focus group decided tastes “like meat.”

And for some reason, one that begins probably with “access” and ends with “is poison,”

The answer in the cars/bikes/pedestrians argument of “who’s the d-bag?” is: everyone. Every single one of those groups, in general, assumes they’re entitled to about 10% more of the road/path than they really are, and they all fuck up in different ways:

Bike riders are easily the worst. Fuck those clowns n their Lance Armstrong cosplay outfits all bombing down the rail trail at a whopping 15 mph like they’re training for the Tour so they can go to the craft brewery later and sit around in their too-tight shorts trading Strava readings while complaining that the IPA…

Office bathroom rule

Eat salad with a spoon, you say?  No big deal.

Humanity has only ever come up with so many ways to justify the fact that people admire and enjoy things that we’re taught should be abhorred

Those who feel bullied feel controlled, and so they mistake bullying for control. It’s why some people seek out aggressive political leaders - they want someone who will talk tough on their behalf. But it’s almost always empty bluster, a useless show that frequently does more harm than good. But it does feel good, for…

This is an inspiration to anyone who thought they couldn’t finish that last donut. YES YOU CAN!

Same. I’ve been dreading the revamp and replacement of iTunes for years, even though it’s often buggy and parts of it under the hood are deeply, deeply outdated, because whenever something has been split out of iTunes thus far (eBooks, ringtone management), and when the split the old iPod app on the phones into…

As long as I’m still able to buy mp3s, rip CDs, and sync my iPhone, I don’t care about rebranding.

Every one of his tattoos looks like he got paid on Friday, went out drinking that night, then tossed his last two crumpled twenties on the counter of the dirtiest shop in town and asked “What’ll this get me?”

Drake is a monster. Does no one remember that he used to pretend to be handicapped?!

My vote? Time-traveling tourists. Sightings are increasing because we’re getting closer to WWIII, a popular destination in time for history buffs.

What else are we good for?

Hell, I haven’t even set foot in Florida before!

Congrats all around, guys.  A nice team effort last night.  

I didn’t go to the game. You didn’t go to the game.