My pops found out he’s cancer free today. Let’s drink.

Nah, I bet these kids were raised by kangaroos, who are famously shitty animals.

America, UCF, and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

I was already 20 when Ichiro joined MLB and I think I’d thought I was years past the part of my life where a professional athlete could ever be the kind of immortal, larger-than-life figure that, say, Michael Jordan or Lawrence Taylor or Martina Navratilova had seemed to be when I was a kid. But Ichiro was—and in lots…

“So bye bye Let’s Remember Some Guys”

I absolutely 100% am open to the idea that my father is full of shit. 

And somehow the Patriots will use this as motivation to win another Super Bowl next year.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

I’m sorry, but this is dad joke gold:

Brown also raised eyebrows by referring to the Last Chance U director as the new Riefenstahl.

someone please fucking kill me

Thank you for the excuse to share this video for the 20 millionth time. I know it’s not breaking, but I hope this dude and his crew are part of the festivities.

Everyone, of course, except coach Chris Beard, whose doughy face immediately turned bright red

Found Raysism’s new account. 

Would you suck dick to fire Dolan?

This dumb dumb team. This goddamn Fyre Festival of a sports franchise.

What about his point about how nothing changes in his neighborhood unless he gets involved at the community level so THAT is how he prefers to be politically active? What on earth is wrong with that? There are too many people out there who think the casting their ballot makes them more important or involved…

As Nel-Peters said yes, Tebow slipped a 7.25-carat solitaire ring on her finger. “This ring is internally flawless,” he said. “Just like you.”

I cannot let him score on me easy. He’s gotta work for it.