In related news, Bristol Rovers beat Grimsby Town today 5-3 on penalties to win the Conference promotion playoff.

Just to brighten Newcastle fans’ hearts for a bit: Once I saw the strike, I couldn’t help but think of Cheick Tiote’s incredible 4-4 equaliser against Arsenal a few years back. I know it’s not from a set piece or anything, but still.

Also, just in case Wes Welker is reading: It’s not just you this time, Kinja really did make that appear in double.

I’m on a phone and can’t source anything here, but the federal government hasn’t carried out a death sentence since around 2004 due to a combination of factors (lengthy mandatory appeals and problems sourcing injection drugs among them).

Thank you for not wanting to cause offense to “losers” like me; it means a lot!

There’s also this from October 2012. I’d suggest Khalif stay off of both Twitter and Infowars for good this time.

Shh...that’s what we call “logic”. Frantic fans don’t deal in logic.

This is really, really, really sad. There are actually people who take time out of their day to attend a Jaguars minicamp as a spectator.

That, of course, is French for "lol".

I’m 27, and it said I was 17 with I picture I had just taken. Mark Sanchez wishes he were this lucky.

I have to admit, that’s a burn right there.

Related:

A 31 year old woman, mind you.

Dude, you might be talking shit, but Samer has proven his ability to pull women on Tinder on multiple occasions. And a couple of them have been on Jeopardy.

I’m only 18 pages in, and already it looks like a grade school mural.

Related question: Who's going to beat P.K. Subban and Devante Smith-Pelly?

The first marketing opportunity I foresee for dude is with this Dr. Zizmor I kept seeing about on the subway.

These bros are *way* more “Jim from the Office” than Sully from Southie or Braintree.