You think this is bad? Dan Snyder originally wanted to call it the Second French and Indian War.

My favorite part of these incidents is always the half-second before dude realizes, "Oh shit, time to make hay on this."

When asked for comment, Emmitt Smith said, "NFL degrading women? Why should they, it's called Just for Men Gel for a reason!"

He can probably find his pen stuck up his ass sideways.

I'd be inclined to think she still works for the CIA if we didn't already have photographic proof that she now works for Jay-Z.

He's only saying that because every time he orders a meal at a restaurant, the server carrying it over becomes temporarily 15 pounds heavier.

No wonder Adrian Beltre took the lead on that. He knows what can happen.

This is the longread that gets RESULTS...

Before this, the term "UEFA Emergency Panel" was only used to describe the piece of protective equipment which allows Javier Mascherano to compete this coming year.

OK got it thanks

Was that not obviously a joke? Or do you just take every opportunity to be a dick on the internet?

In "Birdman Kicked My Ass", urban visionary and Chicago native Wesley Willis told an imaginary tale of getting his ass kicked by one fantasy character named Birdman. Unfortunately for the people of Chicago, this weekend, over 80 people got their ass kicked by shooting, with nearly 20 of them dying from this ass…

What they don't realize is that by leaving, LeBron is committing himself to one of the Florida GOP's central aims for the last few decades: preventing as many black men from voting in Florida as possible.

Fair enough. Maybe I should stop trying to rationalize FIFA-related corruption.

I'm not sure how directly commenting on, and agreeing with, a point someone has written would mean I've ignored that very same point.

I imagine they're more about state liquor stores and fireworks.

If you're keeping track, the Prime Minister of Antigua has only been in office about a month, and leads a population of around 81,000.

I think you'd have to have some caveats in the law (player must be ordered off by the official as happens currently, and maybe the team has to designate two concussion substitutions outside of the normal allotment, a keeper and outfield player, before the match and can't 'choose' who comes on in place). But generally…

Modest proposal: Player takes a blow to the head, a temporary substitute is allowed to take his place until the player is cleared (or not) by an independent doctor. If he's cleared, the player can come back on without using a substitution (and the subbed-in player can come back on later), if he has to come off then…

Pierzynski could be found staring at his phone while the pitcher gave off the appearance of being an emotional wreck just a few feet away. That incident paved the way to at least one complaint to management from a teammate.