This really is one of those relatively rare things where you can look back in history and go, I really don’t think anyone was doing that back then. Like did Louix XIV get off to the idea of anthropomorphic animals with big smelly feet? Feels like an internet thing!

Meh, a foot fetish by itself is fine, but I’m a man who follows the teachings of Costanza. You combine a sexy little toe with some food...maybe give the piggy some roast beef...then you got something going. And if I can work TV into the equation...say, a little Get Up on ESPN while we do the deed...we’re off to…

“The plane banked hard left, then it straightened out and accelerated, then it banked hard left, then it straightened out and accelerated. This went on for three hours, over and over again, and even though it was very boring, I never thought anything was wrong.”

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.

Freestyle is just that - if you had the incredible power and technique to dog-paddle your way to winning the race you can do that.

when the cool lifeguard starts blasting Billy Squier

Thank you! She’s an absolute hack, and she only leans one way or the other depending on where the money is. 

I can’t believe people look to Anna Wintour for fashion advice when she dresses the way that she does. 

Consisting of one 500,000$ bill.

It was me. I took the Watson laptop and the jewelry. I will return it for no less than 10 chick Fil a sandwiches and a fifth of really nice whisky, like Jim beam black. 

I feel like there are any number of potential creative ways to make the best of honoring the letter of that contract. Place a plaque reading, “<— Fuck This Guy” two feet away, or strew birdseed on the ground every morning until local pigeons are trained to come and shit in that specific spot.

On my weekly grocery trip a few weeks ago, I unwittingly got into the line where their slowest bagger was working. Nothing happened, and I stewed in silence. And I still think she deserves at least $15/hr.

No, that’s a bitch move.  

“Behind every great man in a fight, is his girlfriend squawking like a crow with laryngitis.”

Fitting that the Philly enforcer in orange and black ended his fight by yanking his opponent’s jersey over his head.

I’m talking specifically about meatless patties.

Because it IS vegetarian. The only way it is not is that it’s cooked on the same grill. But if your goal is to not contribute to killing animals, it achieves that goal. I know many vegetarians who are fine with that because their goal isn’t to be sanctimonious, but realistic. In addition, they’re insanely better for…

It’s less terrible for the planet. And given the extremely dire straits our planet is in (at least as a human-hospitable environment), I don’t mind paying a little more, if only to send the signal to fast food franchises that people are willing to support meat alternatives.

I already commented this on a post above, but because it has an 89% smaller carbon footprint than it’s beef counterpart: https://www.fastcompany.com/90322572/heres-how-the-footprint-of-the-plant-based-impossible-burger-compares-to-beef

would you reccomend X-14 for, say, a kitchen counter? we have tiled kitchen counters with FUCKING RECESSED GROUT (why why why in a kitchen, i ask myself everyday when i sadly scrub the group with a tooth brush) and i want to Be Prepared when we move out of this place to nuke that grout.