Just had it for lunch. Better than Chick-fil-a, but not as good as the po boy it displaced. 

20 years of realizing the season has started and wondering what the Ravens are like this season, then seeing a handful of box scores that are like 8-2. Every year they make the playoffs by boring the other teams to death. It’s like the 90s Chiefs in that they only succeed to be a banana peel for interesting teams to…

Hooting and taking pulls from a bottle of carpet cleaner as I skywrite “Mariners Slugger Jay Buhner” over the Space Needle in a stolen Horizon Air Dash 8.

Ryan Murphy is the Drake of TV. Produce and distribute every single idea you have no matter how mundane, stupid, or awful it is. His shows aren’t even junk food. They’re styrofoam packing peanuts. I never thought I’d long for the salad days of a hack like David E. Kelley, but here we are.

Love to see the company that calls me when aircraft are missing or have an ELT transmitting sponsors a soccer team. Normal world.

This looks dope, but for chrissake stop hiring TJ Miller. He’s not even an effectively obnoxious foil anymore. He’s just a bellowing oaf. It’s like having a bullhorn in every scene for no reason.

So stoked about this sandwich. One of the only good things about working twelve miles away from home is that this stupid ol’ airport is at least close to a Popeye’s. And yes, I realize twelve miles is not a long commute (even considering that I bike to work), but I refuse to let the ubiquity of of suburbs and the…

He’s basically Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream, just out there with his despondent-child-in-a-supermarket posture aimlessly wandering and muttering “I’m gonna be on television” over and over.

*staring at the title “Los Ageless” and groaning for two straight years* Good evening, Safeway shoppers. Will the owner of a store-brand Tori Amos please pick her up at the customer service desk?

Right!? Love the idea that anyone who doesn’t dress up in a full body Starfox suit or staple their scrotum to their leg to get off just hasn’t found some other dumbass thing to do. Like do what feels good I guess, but most of this fetish shit is tedious as hell. Did people watch Hellraiser and seriously be like “ya…

Once again: cool, cool, cool, cool, “roguelike,” FUCK. 

I came here for one thing: a recommendation where I can find those packets of urn cleaner they use in commercial applications so I can finally recapture some of the volume in my four year old travel mug.

He chose... poorly. 

If you’re gonna talk punchable faces it’s criminal to omit early 90s Danny Ainge whose permanently furrowed brow and gaping maw screamed Eli who was asked for ID at the Yale Club. If Fred Durst’s yelping cry-rap was a face it’d look like it was contesting a foul after sawing Pooh Richardson’s arm off.

Haven’t watched this in a while (it’s hard to keep up with hour-long full season shows now because I’m lazy), but I’m stoked that it’s still out there being way better and far less annoying than Sherlock.

So can we please finally pluck this fucking mole hair of human and be done with him forever?

Pictured: Every coach evaluating the IR list.

Gonna try out Hitman 2. I didn’t buy Hitman 2, but I downloaded what I thought was a demo...and then months later after building my new PC I tried to actually buy it only to find Steam insisting that I already own it. So I guess I’ll just have to Schrodinger up and open the box to see if 47’s been whacked by a hammer.