He chose... poorly. 

If you’re gonna talk punchable faces it’s criminal to omit early 90s Danny Ainge whose permanently furrowed brow and gaping maw screamed Eli who was asked for ID at the Yale Club. If Fred Durst’s yelping cry-rap was a face it’d look like it was contesting a foul after sawing Pooh Richardson’s arm off.

Haven’t watched this in a while (it’s hard to keep up with hour-long full season shows now because I’m lazy), but I’m stoked that it’s still out there being way better and far less annoying than Sherlock.

So can we please finally pluck this fucking mole hair of human and be done with him forever?

Pictured: Every coach evaluating the IR list.

Gonna try out Hitman 2. I didn’t buy Hitman 2, but I downloaded what I thought was a demo...and then months later after building my new PC I tried to actually buy it only to find Steam insisting that I already own it. So I guess I’ll just have to Schrodinger up and open the box to see if 47’s been whacked by a hammer. 

This is legitimately cool. And thank you for not taking the bait and writing up a massive headline that included “NOT ACTUALLY VEGETARIAN/VEGAN” the way so many others did. That’s a fairly minor detail that you covered appropriately for vegans without sacrificing the larger point that this could open a door to larger…

I approve of this on the Buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo grounds alone! Boomer’s boomer’s boomer.

Commissioner for a day: Coaches suck ass when they’re bad AND when they’re good. The only truly good coach is the weird coach, so eliminate team-specific coaches altogether and play each game one at a time with one roster coached by Rex Ryan and the other by Jim Tomsula. This is the only way I will watch an NFL game…

This entire American grindoaf mindset can eat shit. It was bad enough when it was Paul Ryan clones and pink-skinned Oakley dads. But now people are like this on fuckin’ dating apps. Hell yeah. Just who I wanted to meet. Some dumbass who thinks I’m a manchild because I don’t share in having the self-regard and personal…

Ah what fun! Bereft of any purpose I’ll simply grind. For loot. That will help me grind. To get more loot. I am in no way a joke from Terry Jones’s 1989 film Erik the Viking brought to life in a miserable burning world. Hahaha nope, not me. 

Ryan Tannehill. Jesus. “Are you tired of chopping vegetables with stone age knives? Hi, I’m Ryan Tannehill.”-ass name. Why have I had to hear this dude’s name for what feels like 30 years!?

Can’t wait to see the Giants buffoon their way past a handful of teams that tripped over their taffy ass old guy scrotums so I have to sit in a bar with a bunch braying nitwits rattling flatware every time their red assed Ford Truck Man goes full “AM I BEING DETAINED” over a batflip. 

Let him go back to making more Fargo! 

Let him go back to making more Fargo! 

This is by far the best one. It reminds me of one of those old Prometheus and Bob bits. 

I can remember being 20 or so and watching Ming Tsai do his take on either beef bourguignon or coq au vin and enjoying the hell out of it, only to watch the channel turn every show into a shitty competition after that. Stoked that Youtube let people make cooking about cooking again. Chef John is mah boy! 

I plan on viewing this commercial in my mind’s eye when I eventually shuffle off. Life vacating me in all its noxious oozing forms and a lone sax player honking out a dirge in an abandoned Barstow subdivision made entirely of Taco Bells.

Legal weed was necessary for curbing the rage you feel watching some relocated bay area BMW dipshit fully stopped in the left lane on 9th St with the right blinker on like a buffering web browser that can kill pedestrians.

Kate Gosselin: Gamer Hairstyle Icon