FUCK this bullshit ass crap that they are trying to call “awareness.” This shit makes me seethe with anger. Everybody knows there’s a huge opiate problem in this country. Every. Body. Fucking. Knows. We had a commercial advertising a special medication for opioid users that are constipated during the motherfucking…

It has always bugged the shit out of me that these cops stopped to take a picture instead of fucking helping them instantly. INSTANTLY. That child should have INSTANTLY been removed from that car and that situation and his grandparents should have been INSTANTLY assessed for overdose. Why in the fuck did they take…

God bless the people of Flint.

Could Trump be any more insecure?

Ya, nervous like a rock.

Well duh, as soon as her Father is president, he’s going to do away with all that icky gay marriage, so there’s really no need to worry about including it in their plan.

I was listening to Lawrence McDonnell today while I was working and he had a segment that was basically a restrained: “I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ASKING FOR MONTHS TO SEE ANY PROOF THAT TRUMP IS UNDER AUDIT. WILL SOMEONE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE ASK ABOUT ANY PROOF. SWEET FUCKING CHRIST.”

My European friends text me and they’re like “What is going on over there??” and I’m like “Look. You all take care of Brexit and we’ll handle the shambles over here. Thanks.”

Why Ivanka? She's a fucking collaborator. There is no reason to feel bad for that privileged white woman who knows exactly what she's doing.

The absolute highlight of my sad life was when Kid Rock was featured on Jimmy Kimmel’s Mean Tweets, and read a tweet I had written about him.

I think there’s an excellent Twilight Zone movie to be made about someone leaving the United States because Donald Trump is elected and winding up in Alberta.

In response, the NCGOP has released an official statement:

I wish I was responsible for a big event in NC I could cancel, just to hear the response from the state crazy GOP’s communications director.

I’m just... baffled that despite Trump’s lies, his obvious lack of transparency, his flat out scandals, he has somehow cut down Clinton’s lead to a mere 3 points.

How have we gotten here, America? How in the f*** can Clinton get criticized and eviscerated for these exact same qualities, and yet somehow, Trump can just…

Hmmm...I’ve gone to a lab for blood tests (potassium, thyroid, etc.) 3 hours before an appointment, and the results were there within the hour. So, a man who’s got more money than I (??) has to wait a week? Shit, just have Dr. Doobie do his usual “Mad Libs” fill-in-the-blank diagnosis and go from there. He can also…

Extremely high likelihood of micropenis and scabies.

Two quack con men jerking each other off. Should make for great tv for the trumpie crowd.

Are the “politically correct police”the ones that shoot you? Or do they just make fun of you on Twitter? I keep getting this mixed up.