but are pretty common knowledge.

Yes, I was also shocked to learn that mammals have hair. Shocked.

Most people lay their head down on a pillow and dream of someday being an Olympian. Olympians lay their head down and dream of someday having a pillow.

Sort of related: The had a ski jump competition for real in Dodger Stadium in 1963.

Happens here in Texas too. In one gas station I noticed a sign that said "Please let us know if the bathroom needs tending to" in English, but then in Spanish it said "Do not throw used toilet paper in the trashcan!"

And here I was thinking we'd go another Super Bowl with nary a mention of the Jets.

You use the school lunch story to demonstrate your point that there are more important things in life? And save Syria for the end? Isn't the school lunch story trivial and incidental when compared to Syria? Have you not hypocritically demonstrated the point that you're attempting to shame other people for?

lame attempt to piggyback on the success of Team Dog.

Didn't Jezebel just have an article about Kristin Bell and Dax Sheppard calling for a boycott of publications that run pictures of celebrity kids? This boy just lost his father, let's not put his picture all over the internet.

How cynical can you be that you dislike a yearly program featuring adorable puppies playing with toys that helps raise money for animal rescue?

You know, there comes a point where appreciating the fact that something's not photoshopped turns into something much more like a back-handed compliment. We still end up scrutinizing her body and speaking as though we're entitled to judge it and deem it acceptable or not. She's gorgeous; why even comment on her…

Stephen Colbert came up with the best workaround for the S**** B*** problem...just call it the Superb Owl.

The tickets are all still pretty cool. It's the official logos that they've sucked the life out of:

Cut to everyone hipster bragging about how they got all of their side tables from a homeless Tibetan sherpa's old apartment, discarded by the curbside and only covered in 5 lbs of cat hair.

Yeah, you sound super lucky. I have big boob and therefore boob sweat. I didn't even know you COULD get zits on your underboob, but you can.

If you look at her from one side, she looks like an insane drug addict, but if you look at her from the other side, you can see her tattoos.

NEVER FORGET.

I'm a teacher, and once we had a staff breakfast before work, with sausages, eggs, etc.

Lunchtime came, and I was about to pop out and get something, when one of my coworkers, an immigrant from Africa, said to me. "You don't have to go out! There's lots of leftover hash brownies in the staff room."

It's amazing the…