I don’t think that’s how this generally works.

Somewhere, Charles Darwin is smiling.

Actually, that’s 100% false.

Worst Business Decision: I published a Hulk Hogan sex tape to my website, got sued, and lost a very large verdict, and had to take my company into bankruptcy. So embarrassing. LOL!

One thing I’ve never understood is why more athletes don’t fuck around with the media more. I would be constantly lying about everything.

It’s really hard to tell if the slow clap will end with some sort of human sacrifice or a big group hug.

It’s both delightful and frightening at the same time.

Wow. Another Brexit already.

What you didn’t mention is that the envelope that they received with that ring was a little lighter than normal this month.

...or pay someone to get that bird off the “E”

What Quebec really needs to do is become a populated American metropolis with a warm weather climate and very little interest in hockey. That’s how you get an NHL team.

They teach you to watch the hips. But maybe also keep an eye on the ball

That’s what the Olympics is all about! Having fun!

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...unless you snap your leg in half...you never really forget that.

Yes...we will be fine. We will be nice and safe and Zika-free here in America watching these poor millionaires sacrifice their sperm count for our honor.

“Don’t shit all over your rental house” is the new Dez Bryant Rule.

What’s the over/under on number of overs used?

Yeah, but where would Arlington be without the Rangers. All they would have is that fancy military cemetery.

Apparently one Texas Ranger was very insistent on the need for a new stadium.

This is probably the second worst thing Kramer has done, after those racist comments he made towards the black hecklers.