FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH KOJIMA.
NOW MARADONA AND KONAMI ARE BEST FRIENDS.

...given that IRL is unexplored territory.

It wasn’t his console. He was just tasked with trying to making it work.

That price point makes it impossible for me to even see the shoes. It’s like they’re sitting behind a giant price tag. I’m looking at them, but all I’m thinking is “that better be 24K gold on those shoes.”

It’s called the free market—something you socialist scuzzlords wouldn’t understand! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go watch thousands of children die from pre-existing conditions while shielding my tumescent, three-inch, free-market erection, baby! 

Alternatively, why are the hell are Jim Tomsula’s shoes $4.95?

It’s not “fundamental to air travel”. God didn’t reach out from heaven and scribe down on a sacred stone tablet that “Thou shalt not tranfer seats!”

If you rearrange the letters and leave out a lot of them and add an extra W, it says “I played for Washington in game two.”

That’s exactly what someone impersonating his twin brother on an NBA playoff team would say.

That’s exactly what someone deep into this would say.

But Jason...

Nah, it’s all good. R2 was just trying out a whiteout look with some plastidip for the Kayne-Hutt wedding.

As a fake internet attorney, let me preemptively address the knotty legal arguments from those who would ask “What about his right to free speech?”: Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot

This shit right here is what should be front page news, instead of the circus that is Mr. Trump’s 3 a.m. tweetings. These assholes in charge should be shamed from coast to coast, with reporters constantly hounding them with queries on if they have located their souls yet and if they decided to actually help their…

Mike Matheny praised the fan for taking the bullet “the right way,” noting that glory boy fans in Chicago or Kansas City would’ve demanded a stoppage to the game and drawn much more attention to themselves.

...yeah, no, sorry, fuck you Bethesda.

You’ve never had a job that required you to clean a public women’s bathroom, have you?

First, the headline makes it seem as though the Oilers converted ALL their women’s bathrooms to men’s, so my outrage meter had dipped significantly by the time I finished the article.