We are the same person.

I hate Hot 99.5 in the morning. I mean, I listen to Eliot in the Morning, so I'm probably not any better, but 99.5 is the worst. War of the Roses and the other thing they do just annoy the hell out of me and are so mean spirited.

No, because it makes so much sense and would allow the show to be perfect.

Sadly, no. But if any of the guys I went to high school with become billionaires, you'll see this rolling down the back roads of rural Virginia.

I like to refer to this as the Redneck Bentley. Reminds me of where I grew up.

This is bad. Very bad. And that’s just the song. The video looks like an adult version of the videos I used to make with my sister and cousins at amusement parks (King’s Dominion FTW) on a blue screen as kids.

A couple decades before John Brown in Southampton County, VA. Pretty brutal in regards to the actual uprising and then retaliation by the authorities. And it was orchestrated and put into action by slaves, without the help of abolitionists. It's one of the most fascinating things I learned about in school in Virginia.…

I read that as “King Gyno.” Still just as bad.

The cheese is why I love The Killers.

Unfortunately, because 14 year old me was an idiot, I still know all of the lyrics to My Own Prison, One, Higher, and With Arms Wide Open. I am not proud. I am, in fact, deeply ashamed and know why I barely passed math in college: brain space filled up with fucking Creed lyrics.

I’m ashamed I’ve stuck by it from the beginning and know everything that’s happened. I could have gotten my master’s by now had I not spent so much time watching Pretty Little Liars.

And Fotgrafía! That's my Spanish language jam.

I am five minutes from Wegman’s. I'm just on the outskirts of NoVA, and I'm within 45 minutes of 3 more. God, I love Virginia.

I'm in LA right now and could not find the red carpet at all. I tried. Did find the Westboro Baptist Church protesters. ☹️

Mine is a rescue from a puppy mill. He has juvenile cataracts and issues with the food bowl (he’s afraid of it, it has gotten better but sometimes he has to be hand fed and watered). Your poor friend. This tiny dog holds so much of my heart that I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to him.

The songs you have listed are the songs of my childhood. Seriously, each and everyone. I need to make this a playlist immediately.

Tiny dogs are perfect little specimens of evolution and cuddles.

I told my BFF about it immediately after it happened. I’m in the contacts of her phone as “Yeasty McSadface” now.

I bought three different types of yeast infection treatment, a giant bottle of wine, a tub of ice cream, and a new pair of undies at Target one night. I saw an ex with my basket full of sad lady things and then the checkout lady gave me the most judgmental look I’ve ever gotten. I signed the key pad “Yeasty…

I wish I could forget he existed.