I loved those! I know all about the Freemasons and how they're part of the New World Order and control everything. And how they're secretly the descendants of the Knights Templar. I miss those themed weekends. I just want to watch something that isn't Hitler related or directed at men. Because only men like…

Who hasn't hurled neon liquids into the toilet all night/day before? Drinking Boone's Farm melon ball flavor, which looks like toxic sludge from cartoons, is a right of passage in the middle of nowhere south. That is, of course, after falling off of a porch and crawling around the backyard with no pants on. But…

What about if it's more than 5+ years after your last baby?

NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every single status on Facebook tonight was about Mitchell Guist. I didn't realize all of the people I know watch Swamp People or know the History Channel existed. Of course, when I was watching it in high school and enjoying it (Russia: Land of the Tsars was appointment television for me in 11th grade), everyone…

So you're not supposed to have a shower with each one? I really did not know that. You're also probably not supposed to have a bridal shower for a second marriage, either. Damn...My friends and family do everything wrong.

You've never tried to talk anybody out of a bad baby name when they're throwing suggestions around? I always suggest completely out there names because they're usually better than the prospective parents' first ideas. When my cousin thought she was having a boy, she was hovering around the names Jaxton and Maverick.…

I have a friend who has a girl and a boy, Chloe and Jayden. *sigh* She's a great mom who lives for her kids, so I say nothing.

Garden of Shadows was my favorite in that series. All the prequels about the grandmothers were, actually.

I read my way through the VC Andrews library in middle school. I read every single series. I am only slightly ashamed to admit that.

Rob Delaney, I feel you on the Battleship thing. I hate myself for admitting that I want to see it because it has the most beautiful man in the world in it and Liam Neeson. I really am only seeing it for Alexander Skarsgard in choker whites. My sister and I have a date next Friday to see it but we've dubbed it…

I enjoy him like this.

Not gonna lie, I kind of love America's Funniest Home Videos. I know you can watch similar videos and more on the interwebz, but just something about that show is awesome. I also miss Planet's Funniest Animals on Animal Planet. I'm easily entertained.

They could've done a lot more with a Dinosaur themed prom on Glee. Like this. Seriously...The Dinosaur theme was announced and my friend and I both texted each other almost simultaneously "Boom boom acka lacka boom." They did play it in the background, though. Not good enough!

I'm treating my mom to a small trip some time soon, some flowers, a funny card about how she and I are both lushes, and a trip to the cemetery to visit my great grandmother's grave with my crazy grandmother who I have serious issues with.

I forwarded it to my mom for birthday ideas for me.

I scratched my corneas with my natural nail when I let them get a little long. It was absolute hell. Both eyes were scratched when trying to put in contacts and they got infected and hurt more than anything I've ever felt before.

Anything descendant from Ozzy is going to be fucking metal and awesome. I don't care that his kids are annoying (At least Kelly is), but I love Ozzy. I used to wear my mom's Monsters of Rock '83 Ozzy Osbourne scarf as a kid and pretend I was a headbanger. You know the car commercial where the whole family sings…

I'm fairly certain that my conscience has now taken on the persona of Lafayette.

How do you do normal, everyday tasks with nails like this? I find it hard to type when my nails grow out past my fingertips, let alone when they go all web-footed. I can't put in contacts at all when they're too long. Just keeping my nails painted and filed is hard work since I can't afford to go to the salon every…